SURRENDER

I RISE WITH YOU IN THE WAKE OF THE MORNING
I WALK WITH YOU IN THE COOL OF THE NIGHT
AND EVERY SINGLE DAY
I'M DEVOTED TO YOUR WAYS
ONLY YOURS
ONLY YOURS

I SURRENDER ALL TO YOU
I SURRENDER ALL TO YOU

WHEN I'M WEAK YOU ARE STRONG
YOU'RE MY FEET WHEN I CAN'T MOVE ON
YOU ARE THE LIGHT IN THE DARK
YOU'RE THE WHISPER INSIDE MY HEART

I'M ALL FOR YOU
I'M ALL FOR YOU
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Been slightly busy over the past few days to blog.

I know that God is teling me to change - my character and my temper especially.
I do admit that I have serious mood swings, especially when I'm tired, hungry or sick.
Somehow it is getting more evident and slightly out of control over the past few days.

Tuesday, I was sleeping in office and got pretty irritated when I couldn't sleep properly when people around me kept talkin loudly. I also got quite angry that someone didn't bring back lunch from cookhouse for me even when I explicitly told him to do so. (ps. I only had 2 bucks left in my wallet which is supposed to last for a few more days).

I do know that getting angry is not wrong but holding onto anger and our reaction to anger determine whether it is right or not. I must admit that my reaction to anger hasn't really been very nice. I have been letting anger rule my head and actions instead of surrendering them to God and taking practical steps to release my anger properly. Sighs.

This morning I woke up with my right knee in pain due to Arthritis. Sighs. Actually I was expecting my left knee to be in pain since I already had some discomfort before sleeping. However, when I woke up, the pain in my right knee was piercing and I couldn't even bend or put force on it. I tried standing up but I couldn't as the pain was really unbearable so I went back to bed.

My mum then somehow woke up and came over to wake me up thinking that I was late for camp. I grumbled about the pain in my right knee and my mum got worried. She started to ask more and I just kept quiet and went back to sleep as I was already pretty irritated by the pain. My mum and dad came over to me quite a few more times to ask about me. However, being not in a very good mood cuz of tiredness and pain, I simply ignored them till around 8.45am when I decided that I had better go and see a doctor to get my mc.

Just want to thank God for my parents who are always beside me to help me and comfort me. Seriously, if not for them, I dunoe what I would be doing now. Perhaps still lying on bed and grumbling in pain. Sighs.

Sometimes i wonder, God Why do I have to go through such pain every day? Why aren't Your healing taking place in me? Sighs. I'm unsure myself also. I'm tired of waking up every morning to find my joints - hands and feet- in pain, unable to move and to hold things properly. I pray that my condition would go away and that I can be like any other normal person - out in the sun playing without any worries of pain. Oh wells. It really seems that sometimes we are walking alone in our lives. The bigger the world is, the lonelier we are. But I know that my God is right beside me all the time.

Oh God, how am I to surrender myself to you? Its really not easy.

Cruxifion of flesh. That is really hard work. How can one go against your own flesh and carnal desires? It really takes lots of effort to be willing to submit to God's will.

The initial decision to submit and obey is important. Then, we need to rely on God for strength. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit to empower us.

The more we surrender, the more we are empowered!

Of cause, everything said is easier than done. Oh wells.
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I find my hope in You my Lord
I've found my hope
And all of my strength is found in You
You are my strength

Lord take my cares
Bring me closer to You

I reach out my harnds and worship You Jesus
Let Your spirit fall and make me new
More like You
You have my heart
Jesus Christ
I give You my life

You're all i need
You're all i see
You're all i dream
Jesus